Long ago in the year 20XX a certain Doctor Thomas Light (though in the first game, he's Dr. Wright. What does Capcom have to say 'bout this? 'He changed his name to avoid detection by Wily.' I think it's more due to a shoddy translation...) developed numerous robots with the intent to aid mankind, but to protect his identity we won't mention his name. We'll simply call him Dr. Light. What's that? Not anonymous enough? Okay, we'll call him Dr. Thomas. What's that? "Just stick it!" you say? These robots included Protoman, a prototype of a battle droid (actually, the gun was Wily's idea), among others who you can see in our games section. Anyhow his assistant Dr. Wily, who has chosen to be called Mr. X, took them all except the two janitors, Rock and Roll. Musical huh? You'd better get used to that. Rock was turned into an ENGINE OF DESTRUCTION by Dr. Light..uhh...his creator. After whomping, yes WHOMPING, Mr. X's robots, MegaMan then went on to WHOMP, yes WHOMP, Wily himself. This proved Wily's silliness once and for all for the first time.
Then, Mr. X, ohh I'll just say it, IT'S WILY, HIS NAME IS WILY OKAY?!!?!! Anyhow, WILY made new robots for MEGAMAN to fight. This only once again proved how silly Wily, not Mr. X, was. MegaMan beat the poop outta these guys, and once again took out Wily, who made a last-ditch effort to scare him away with an alien suit.
Minutes later, a few million minutes to be not-so exact, Wily struck again! This time with DR. LIGHT'S prototype: PROTOMAN, BLUES, or BREAKMAN whatever you want to use. He also crafted eight MORE of his own home-grown robots. Light made Rush the Android Dog(music AGAIN) to help MegaMan. Defeating Wily was a piece of cake, and MegaMan was even SAVED by Breakman from the collapsing Wily Tower.
If you can't tell by now, we're already at the fourth game, and I, MooMoo-Chan, have seized the keyboard and am now typing (after fixing all of Xeta's horibblle speling errers...) One happy day, when daisies were blooming and the little robins were chirruping, I got sick 'cuz this story waz getting too happy-sappy. After some mild clean-up, I got back to the story. Dr. Light and MegaMan were hangin' out in da lab. Den they got dis call from dis guy called Dr. Cossack (a right Russian bloke, eh!). He built all dese robots, ya see, but den megaman, whose name I fergot to capitalize, but I don't wanna hit backspace, beat da stuffin' outta alla dem! Then he beat Cossack, but discovered Cossack only did this 'cuz Wily-san had kidnapped his daughter. MegaMan then continued to another fortress, and beat da poop outta Wily!
Hey! Wily's back! Oops, wait, no, it's Protoman, and he has kidnapped the Lightmeister! Yo! So MegaMan has to fight these eight evil 'bots, that Protoman must have built ("but, I thought Protoman couldn't build robots, MooMoo...", SHUT UP! I'm telling the story, and all your stupid questions WILL be answered!). Then this crazy blue Man of the Mega variety beat 'em all. Then he wen't to this EVIL fortress of Protoman's ("I didn't know protoman had an EVIL fortress...", I SAID SHADDAP! ALL YER STUPID QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED!). He went to beat Protoman, but it was this other robo-guy, IN DISGUISE! He turned out to be built by Wily, who in turn had his own evil fortress, and had built all that other stuff (THERE, NOW ARE YOU HAPPY!?! NOW STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!!!!!). Wily again got his rear strained into a meaty pulp.
I'm a sissy and don't want to read the ensuing carnage! I'm just fine with my li'l MegaMan stories!
Xeta: ALL RIGHT! ENOUGH OF YOU, YOU SLANG-TYPIN' DUCK!!!
MooMoo: QUACK!!! YOU SED I COULD TYPE! AAAAUUUUGH!!! KEEP THAT PRETZEL AWAY FROM ME!!!!
Xeta: Taste the power of salted bread products!
MooMoo: Strength...dwindling...can no longer...type in...capitals...
Xeta: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Now, I type!!!!
MooMoo: HEY! DORITOS!!!!!!
Xeta: AAAAUGH!!!!! Why are your eyes GLOWING?!!?!?! Put your spatula down!!!!!!!!
MooMoo: IT IZ I, MOOMOO-CHAN SOROTE(SOROTE!?! THAT'S NOT MY LAST NAME, OH WELL, I CAN'T TAKE IT BACK NOW, I don't like to hit backspace!), WHOSE STRENGTH IS THAT OF TEN AMPLY-SIZED ARMADILLOS, AND WHOSE SOUL IS PURE AS THE DRIVEN SNOW! HAVAT YOU, VILE DEMON, WITH MY STERN SPATULA, TWICE AS FAST AS THE WILD CHEETAH, AND WHOSE BLOW IS MORE TERRIFYING THAN THE BLAST OF THE ATOMIC BOMB!
Xeta: Oh, sorry, my ears just popped, I didn't hear what ya sed, could you repeat that?
MooMoo: WHAT!?!!? NO!!!! I CAN'T REPEAT THAT! AND ANYWAY, I SPENT ALL WEEK REHEARSING THAT SPEECH, AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE NOT TO HEAR IT!!! I'M SO UPSET, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME...MAKE ME CRY! DIE!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!!!!!
[WHAM!] [BIFF!] [POW!] [ZAP!] [B*B*] [SHWOOOM!] [SPLUTZ!] (SPLUTZ?!?)
Xeta: O, woohk waat oo 'id, eye tinc oo bwoke ma node! Ine den, tipe id!
MooMoo: VICTORY IS MINE! And I haven't breathed in for the past ten minutes! [GASP]
Howdy! Now, in what we like to call the the MegaMan 6 era, though we're not sure why, there was this robot contest. It was hosted by the mysterious Mr. X, not to be confused with the Mr. X we used above to define Dr. Wily, at least not yet... The most powerful robots from around the world participated, but for some reason, Dr. Light didn't submit MegaMan. There are many theories as to why this is, but I figure if he did, then MegaMan would be captured, and there wouldn't be much of a game. Oh, yeah, I forgot ta tell ya how all da robots were stolen by Mr. X (who is CLEARLY a different person than Dr. Wily, previously referenced as Mr. X in the first paragraph!), well now ya know. MegaMan had to destroy all the kidnapped reprogrammed robots (I bet their creators were happy...) and then destroy Misser X, who turned out to be (SURPRISE!) Dr. Wily. Then Dr. Wily got smacked upside the head by MegaMan, who won!
Now, MegaMan is about to embark on another adventure, except this time he's on SNES, and real big! Dr. Wily was finally put in da slammer. Hurray! Saucer, Hurray! Hurray! Unfortunately, his krazy, kooky lab housed four robots that were released after six months without Wily pushin' any buttons in da lab. There's also Bass, Dr. Wily's bad robot, who betrays the confidence of MegaMan an' Light! The 4 robots freed Wily, and broke a lot of stuff. Then MegaMan smushed 'em, and the other four robots that came into play. Then he turned Wily into a hot, yummy serving of Hungry Jack mashed potatoes. Just like what we eat with our Stove Top Stuffing...Mmmmmmm...Stuffing...Poatoes...(Q.D.-See da credits page)
And finally, MegaMan 8, for the wunderful Gray Sony Box Thingie with the shiny label. Once again, Caocom doesn't bother lying to us about the villain. We know it's Wily as soon as we begin! These two robots, one evil, one good, are beatin' each other up in space, and the evil one loses, and they both crash on dis li'l island. Wily goes to inspect, as does MegaMan. And Mel the janitor sat at home playing the accordion softly to himself, though that has nothing to do with the story. MegaMan blew up a big crab, and Wily ran off with the evil robot's li'l purple power source. MegaMan salvaged the good robot, and brought it back to Dr. Light's lab. Mega Man then went on to beat 4 of Wily's evil robots, finding and salvaging more li'l purple power sources from each of 'em. Then the good robot (Duo) awoke after some repair work by Dr. Light, destroyed all the power sources they collected, and zipped off through the roof. MegaMan followed him, fought him, and learned of his origin. Then, just as the two robots were about to make up and become good friends BREAKMAN comes and sez: "ooo MegaMan, I found a neat tower where Wily werks!" and broke all ties. Then, four robots later, Duo and MegaMan make up and whoop Bass good, and flips Wily into the hands of Grandma Moses who made him into much munchy meats most monday mornings! Try saying THAT ten times fast!
Da year is 21XX. Dis Dr. Cain dude is chillin' in da hood, diggin' himself some phat ol' relics. He discovered the remnants of an old lab from about 80 years ago! After diggin' ;round a bit, he finds this big, phat, funky capsule, with all these indicators on it. They were flashin' all green an' happy, so he opened it up, unleasing a plaugue and killin' the world. Just kidding. Dere was dis 'bot in the capsule! He awoke, and his name was X. Dr. Cain was all "Hey, dis robot's gotz brains! Dat is da kewlest thing I've ever seen!" So he, like, totally creates a new race of robots called reploids, using dis technology. They all hangin' out, thinkin' and talkin' and stuff, 'cuz with this new technology, they can do that. Suddenly, lots of reploids go nuts! They be killin' and blowin' stuff all over da place! Yo man, they is bein' gnarly as heck! [Jive Mode: Terminated] Cain then decided to create a bloody team o' reploid blokes ta get ric o' them Maverick gits. They was called the Maverick hunters, old chum, and by jove, they did a bloody good job at stoppin' the Mavericks. That is, until their leader, Sigma, went maverick, governor. This bloke was really powerful, and he was leadin' the Mavericks now! X decided ta put a stop ta this, and did a bloody good job. He discovered and befriended this totally shaggadellic 'bot called Zero, who helped him in his quest to defeat Sigma. Until he died in a battle with Vile, a bleedin' villain wit' a big robot machine. X then continued on ta beat Vile's shiny bumm into the ground, finally getting to Sigma, and beating him, too. He was able to do this with the help of Dr. Light's jolly ol' power capsules, which gave him some neat upgrades. The world was safe, I suppose...
Holy cripes on toast! Mavericks are back! Megaman X, new leader of the Maverick hunters must stop 'em! He also had to face a new threat: The X Hunters! They were four evil robots specially designed to stop X, and salvage Zero's parts. X's goal was to get Zero's parts 'fore they got 'em and made him evil. He also had ta stop the Mavericks. In the end, Zero was ressurrected, and Sigma was as beaten as a red-headed step child!
Well, all is good in the world. Birds are chirping, bees are buzzing, and Dr. Doppler, famed reploid scientist, has created Doppler Town, a utopian society where reploids can live in harmony! Oh, smeg! A virus, known as the Doppler virus infected Doppler twon, and made tons of Mavericks! Looks like Megaman and Zero have to save the day. For some reason, Megaman has again lost all of his power-ups (grrrr...), and must search them out! At least now, he can call upon his biddy, zero's aid whenever he needs! Cripes! I jest realized that I switch tenses every couple of sentences in this story! Oh, well. Doppler ended up gettin' beaten. It was then discoverd that that bastard Sigma was behind everything again! X had to beat his sorry butt back to Brisbane, which he did. Pretty kewl, huh? Now, it's kinda hard to continue the story at this point, 'cuz there's two outcomes: 1.) Zero survived, to help X another day. 2.) In his help of X, Zero died, which is okay, 'cuz he's ultimately destined to cause more trouble for X...
Okay, it's later now. There's all these reploids in a big army called Repliforce. They wish to be free of servitude ta man. Suddenly, new mavericks start to arise. These two instances combined cause people to beleive that the repliforce is going Maverick. The Pepliforce, insulted by this accusation, are ready to fight to defend their honor. Maverick hunters X and Zero were called in on the job. X was given a new assistant, by the name of Double. After fightin' tons o' Mavericks (including the colonel of the repliforce), X began ta return ta base. He returned to find that Double was really a Maverick, and wasn't really the little, chubby klutz everyone though he was. He could morph into a big nasty robot, and was told by a mysterious leader that he must kill X. After beating him, X continued to the massive orbiting space cannon, which repliforce had taken control of. X worked his way into the system, and found out that Sigma was behind this all along, subtly manipulating everyone! After beatin' the stuffing outta Sigma, X found that the cannon was set to autofire into the earth! In a exceelent show of bravado, the massive General (leader of the repliforce) threw himself into the cannon's main engine, blowing up the cannon 'fore it could fire! X escaped in a little pod, wondering if it was his destiny to become maverick.
Zero had a different story, though. He became acquainted with Iris, a nice li'l female robot with a southern accent, who was sister to the Colonel of the Repliforce (who has a British accent (!?)). Zero used his saber ta blast through the Maverick hordes, including Colonel. After he beat them all, he returned to base, only to confront Iris, who was a bit peeved that Zero killed her bro. Confused and angry that her best pal kilt her big bro, she attacked Zero in a massive mech suit. Zero was forced to terminate his gal pal in battle, which was very difficult fer him ta do. He also began to have flashbacks. They told of his past. Sigma (who was sane at the time) had come to hunt Zero, who was maverick. They battled heartily, and zero plowed into Sigma like a hot spatula through cream cheese, and noticed a little "W" insignia had flashed in his forehead crystal while he fought. Both had sustained damages, and were brought back to base. So, this was how Sigma had become maverick! Zero was the origin of the Maverick strain. THis really wasn't Zero's day! Let's see how he's done so far:
-Repliforce wouldn't comply with him
-Realized this whole fiasco was all his fault
Geez, I had a day like this once, and it really sucked! Anyway. Zero then went on ta beat Sigma, and the rest of the story is like X's, except that Zero was contemplating his origin, rather than what X was contemplating.
It all began when Rock and Roll were strolling along through the park, having a jolly old time. Then this green-haired punk came careening outta the stratosphere! He informed Rock (aka MegaMan) that he and his Stardroids were going to conquer our puny planet! He revealed his name to be Terra. Rock donned his armor, and let loose a hellsih barrage of plasma at the antagnoist, crying out in a roar of victory! It didn't work. Terra deflected the beam, blasted MegaMan, and zipped off. When MegaMan came to, he was in Light Labs. Roll had described the incident to Light, and he was currently working on the spiffy new Mega Arm adaptor taht could harm Terra. Once it was completed, MegaMan set out to kick some Stardroid butt!
Four stardroids had landed on the planet and were wreaking havok. MegaMan began with Mercury. After going through this massive factory, MegaMan, confronted the 'bot.
"Yo, man, you be steppin' on my turf! You'ze askin' fer trouble!" Cried Mercury.
The droid then dissolved his liquid mercury body into a horde of small blobs. They hurled themselves at MegaMan, pummeling him, before regrouping into Mercury on the other side of the room. Mercury chuckled heartily, and began to dissolve again. MegaMan then realize dthat this was all the bum could do, so he simply avoided the repeating pattern of Mercury blobs, and incinerated him when he reformed. He was soon gone. The other three bots, the bubbly Venus, the heavily armed Mars, and the aquatic Neptune, were also taken care of.
Things then got worse. There were four more Stardroids, out in hte solar system, who were preparing to attack. MegaMan decided to fly Rush out there to take care of the problem before it started. Each Stardroid had a massive strongold which MegaMan had to infiltrate. He had a harrowing battle with each of the remaining stardroids. The feline Pluto, the electrifying Jupiter , the Bullish Uranus , and the ringed Saturn were all destroyed.
Finally, it wa sall taken care of. Oops, wait, no it wasn't. The forgetful MegaMan still had to whup Terra. MegaMan's new Mega-Arm proved very useful.
"Yo man, you've go some funky new gear. I'm hip ta that jive, I'll jest havta fight a li'l harder, ya see what I'm say'n?" Said Terra.
MegaMan replied with a barrage of atomic knuckle sandwiches, knocking Terra outta commission. All was fine wit hthe world. That is, until this massive planet-sized ship (can anyone say 'deathstar'?) appeared. MegaMan battled with it, blowing a hole in the side, and entering. He fought several of Wil past creations, then got to Wily himself (gee, he was behind the whole thing, I didn't know that, in fact, I almost died of a heart attack when I found out!). Finally, he had to face off with Sunstar, the ultimate Stardroid. Ater this battle, all really was right with the world! Geez, that wasn't funny at all. I apologize for forcing you ta read this massive amount of suckage!
It all starts with a happy family - the caskets. A girl named Roll, who lives with her father Barrel. One day, when Roll was just a babe, Barrel found a young boy and a robot monkey on an archeological dig. The boy had amnesia, but the monkey said his name was Volnutt, Megaman Volnutt. So Megaman grew up as Roll's brother and they were partners in Digging - going into ancient ruins and finding ancient technology from the previous civilization. One day, after a dig, their airship gave out and they crash landed on an island called Kattalox.
It was fortunate timing indeed, because the island was under attack by (Lego men?) pirates. Megaman managed to fend them and their leader, Tron Bone, off. Only, it turned out that Tron was second in commmand, and her older brother Tiesel was going to take out all the stops in beating poor Volnutt. From the mayor, Megaman learns that the pirates are after a treasure in a place called Main Gate - a treasure that legends say will cause a great disaster.
Between fighting new pirate robots, Megaman and Roll are searching Ruins for parts and find a new twist - they manage to activate an old supercomputer called Edin that opens up the normally sealed off and inaccessable Main Gate. With their path open, they move in to the ancient cave.
Inside, they find controls to activate the 3 ancient sub cities. Each has a key. All three are needed to open the door to the central gate of the Main Gate. Megaman feels strangely compelled to oblige, and fights off ancient soldier robots (Reaverbots) to get the keys and open the central gate...
Within he finds Megaman Juno, a robot left there from the ancient past who's job is simple - Population control. He's going to activate Edin's central Attack satilite and attack the island to whipe out the carbon life forms. He also reveals to Volnutt that he's really an advanced fighting robot, who's purpose was to reactivate Edin and wake up Megaman Juno. Juno quickly puts Megaman in a trap and leaves.
Luckily, the pirates save Megaman and he goes to stop Megaman Juno. Though, after beating him (With Juno's BIG mecha suit) he finds it's too late. But before all is lost, Data comes to sace the day. Revealing that he's a robot made by Volnutt to sore his memories. Data, who's real name is Megaman Trigger, stops the reinitialization of human population. But, it still wasn't time for him to reveal to Volnutt what his past was...
And so, Roll, Barrel, Data, and Megaman Volnutt leave to places unknown and ruins unexplored. And if you forgot about the pirates - they got Edin's refractor (power) crystal, but got lost at sea before they could sell it ^_^ But not the end...to be continued...
Return to the Engine of Destruction